4. For question #2, what did you do differently from the original post? Please outline, explain and justify what you changed & why. Essentially, what did you learn from this new topic and what did you change and why? (8 Marks)
For my revised blog post, I did many things differently from the original in order to utilize the F-pattern better and use plain English. My main strategy was aiming to make the content as concise and clear as possible without any important information being left out.
To begin, I simplified headings and subheadings. The original post used longer, more descriptive headings like “Eco-Friendly Beauty Without Compromise” and “Endless Shades, Endless Creativity.” These are way too long and wordy and do not utilize plain language strategies very much. They are not very concise and do not even tell the reader what information they will find below. In the new blog post, I revised the heading to be simplified in a direct and action-oriented way: “Why Choose EcoGelX?” and “What’s Inside?” These new headings engage the reader and tell them exactly what they will be finding if they continue reading so that it eliminates any type of guessing, which makes them way more likely to engage with the content. This change directly applies the plain English principle that “headings should quickly communicate a purpose.” (Briscoe, Lecture, February 26th, 2025). The revised headings are much more scannable and immediately tell readers what information follows.
Another aspect I changed was turning long paragraph information into bullet points. In the original post, I had several lengthy paragraphs explaining product features across multiple sections, such as a whole paragraph just dedicated to talking about colour options and another whole paragraph talking about sustainability. As mentioned in class, “Use design to make information easy to scan” (Briscoe, W8—A—Plain Language Writing (W25).pdf, Slide 59). So converting the design from paragraph format to bullet points makes the content much more scannable for the reader. Instead of having lengthy dedicated sections and paragraphs for these points, I put all the important key aspects of those sections under the “Why Choose EcoGelX?” section with simple bullet points highlighting the most important information from those sections. This change addresses the challenge of creating a balance between making the content scannable while still maintaining enough information. By grouping related benefits together, the content becomes more digestible while still keeping the core information. This also supports the F-pattern reading behaviour where users scan horizontally across the top of the content, then move down.
Along with that point of simplifying my content into bullet points, I changed the blog by reducing the overall text volume. The original post contained significantly more text and more headings that were just unnecessary and wordy, making the content much less clear and concise. I took out three of the subheadings and changed all the wording in each heading to ensure the reader will easily understand what is being communicated quickly and easily. The text was drastically reduced while maintaining key selling points. By utilizing plain language, no important information was being eliminated, but it was worded much more clearly for the average reader on the web.
This text reduction directly applies to the concept talked about in class that utilizing plain language writing is all about “respecting the reader’s time” (Briscoe, Lecture, February 26th, 2025). Also taking into consideration readers attention span, as mentioned in class, “People are busy, spending 15 seconds or less deciding on whether to engage with a page, so you need to get to the point quickly” (Briscoe, W8—A—Plain Language Writing (W25).pdf, Slide 3). People do not have long attention spans, which makes concise and clear content like what was revised in my blog post critical for web writing. The revised version focuses on essential information that helps readers quickly understand the product benefits without requiring them to read extensive unnecessary wording explanations.
Overall, my revised EcoGelX blog post significantly improves on the original by implementing plain English principles and optimizing the F-pattern. By simplifying headings, converting paragraphs to bullet points, reducing text volume, and using direct language, the content better serves the most common online readers, which are people who scan with limited attention spans. These changes respect the reader’s time while maintaining all essential information. The revised structure makes the content more scannable and easier to comprehend, increasing the likelihood that readers will engage with the content and take action. This all teaches me that effective web writing doesn’t require more words, just better organized, more purposeful ones that prioritize clarity and conciseness.